One day, I went to watch a movie. I wanted a box of popcorn to accompany. Sweet glazed caramel popcorn. So I walked to the counter and asked for One box of sweet caramel popcorn to the lady behind the cashier.

  • Lady: “No more sweet caramel popcorn today.”
  • Me: “I really like the sweet one. I don’t like the salt one. Can you please make it one for me?”
  • Lady: “So sorry. We can’t. We are not popping any more sweet popcorn tonight.”

I know it’s the last movie that day. But I won’t give up. Although I felt that the sweet popcorn would be best companion for the movie, I didn’t die if I didn’t get that sweet popcorn, but I am trained to try my best to get what’s to be my goal. So, I try to negotiate again.

  • Me: “I know it’s late and I know it may be too much for you to help. But I really need that popcorn to enjoy my movie. Can you please try your best to get it one for me? Please.”
  • Lady: With a smile, “So sorry, but it’s not possible.”
  • Me: “Okay then. Thanx.”

Did I give up? No. Trying other way to get it. I opened the app and tried to buy one from there. I wasn’t sure it could. After I clicked check out and paid it, I was still not sure I would get the sweet popcorn. They may give me the salt one, saying that they’re not making the sweet one that day, as the counter lady said. I kept watching the activities around popcorn area, and I saw a man, took one paper bag, opened the kettle lid, and poured it in the kettle. Soon, one of them shout my order number and I got that sweet glazed caramel popcorn.

It’s just one simple example of how I get to my goal. Simple or serious case, I always try my best to get to the goal I have set. I didn’t success in all cases. Some cases had made me smile and shiver in joy, some had made me cry and fall deep in disappointment, and the rest was as I had planned and imagined to happen.

I do it to keep my Mind Alarms active. When I asked my staffs to do this and that, I will make sure myself that they do what we have agreed. When my supplier said that the product will be shipped today, I will asked periodically in detail to make sure it will be done as he said. In short, I will try every possible way in my mind to make sure everything is moving towards my goal. Try the best first, and I will surrender the result to the God, without regret.

Some people asked me that if I always do that, I will always have a hard busy mind and I feel uncomfortable all the time. Why must I torture myself in this short life? Okay, I don’t know how to answer it best and I am not too sure how the process is and how it’s all happening in the beginning – when it all started and all. As long as I remember and after thinking hard, what I feel is, “Yes. You’re right. It’s uncomfortable. But for me, it’s better this way than if I have to bear with disappointment, knowing that I haven’t done the best for it.” I know each person will have mixed different opinion on this. I am just telling both of you that this is what is right for me.

However I believe that if you keep doing this and you are used to it, that uncomfortable feeling will be normal feeling, as what I feel it now. Saying the truth, it’s not uncomfortable anymore. It’s more like laziness attack my mind when I am faced with a case. Now, I feel that I have to fight my laziness more than the uncomfortable feeling. However, focusing to my goal and imagining the feeling of disappointment if I don’t do the best, is making me easier to fight my laziness and do every possible way in my mind to get the goal.

In the other hand, personally I believe that comfort feeling is a silent killer. It kills your Mind Alarms one by one slowly until you feel completely comfortable of any uncomfortable condition. Don’t get confused. Comfortable and uncomfortable condition here is relative. Living in a slum is comfortable to some people and is extreme ‘No-No’ to some others. I don’t want that to happen in me. That’s why, I am doing everything the best towards my goal to keep my Mind Alarms active.

Dreams, fear, guilt, worry, or any uncomfortable feeling which makes you can’t sleep or even makes you cry, is the one that pushes you to grow bigger and stronger.

From 2015 Marvel Serial Movie Daredevil:

Guilt can be a good thing. It is soul’s call to action.

The indication of something wrong.

The guilt means your works is not yet finished.

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